


Lost in The Rain (Revamped)

by YumeRui



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Rain, Running Away, Sad Ending, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:14:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29048226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeRui/pseuds/YumeRui
Summary: Atsumu went on a journey to Saigon, to search for his runaway wife, Kita Shinsuke.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Lost in The Rain (Revamped)

**Author's Note:**

> -This is actually me posting after doing a lot of editing on my work, hence the word "revamped".  
> -I am not Vietnamese, so despite my research, there might be some discrepancies. I apologize for that.

**Inspired by Saigon Mưa Rơi by Namewee and Hồ Quang Hiếu.**

Atsumu got off the taxi that he took from the airport, along with his luggage which only consisted of a trolley bag that contained his necessities. He made sure to tip the driver, as he knew he wasn’t in Japan anymore.

He stared at the unfamiliar buildings, long after the taxi had drove away. Some people gave him a weird look, but quickly passed by as they have other matters to attend to. Atsumu snapped back to his senses and took out a paper, on it was a single word in a neat handwriting.

Atsumu looked at the paper before carefully folding it back. He then curled his hands to form fists and let out a single, heavy breath, a determined look on his face.

“Saigon, huh?”

He then pulled his luggage and walked down this unknown street, beginning his journey to search for a familiar face in an unfamiliar city.

_“Mr Miya, this is Mr Kita Shinsuke from Vietnam.”_

_Atsumu was in a marriage agency office. A man wearing a suit smiled while he introduced the other man that was beside him. He had big brown eyes, as well as silver hair with black tips. Atsumu can still remember what he wore that day: a white formal shirt, which was a bit old and tattered, alongside black pants, which also had seen better days._

_He had a calm expression on his face, as if he wasn’t having a marriage arrangement set for him at that moment._

_Atsumu furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at the supposed person that he was going to marry._

_“Can ya explain why’s it a man that I’m marryin’?”_

_“Well, ya didn’t specify which gender yer looking for when yer signing up, so we assumed that yer fine with any gender.” The man explained while putting his hand on Kita’s shoulder, his smile unwavering. “If ya prefer a female, we can arrange that for ya, but it’ll cost ya a little since we have to find another match.”_

_Atsumu clicked his tongue, he didn’t like spending more than he should. Although he’s not poor, he’s not exactly filthy rich either. And he didn’t mind if he was marrying a man, as long as it could get his family to shut up about him not having a life partner._

_“Fine, he’ll do.”_

_The man’s smile grew even wider hearing that._

_“Splendid!” He said as he clapped his hands together. “now let’s just get the procedure done so we can help register the marriage.”_

_He then pointed towards the table where it had some documents laid out. Atsumu gave and signed some papers before choosing the date to go to the municipal office._

_“Alright then, ya can head home for now and just wait for wedding day.” The man said as he handed Atsumu a big envelope containing the papers. Atsumu nodded and shook hands with the man before heading out of the room. He caught one last glimpse of Kita before he was escorted inside._

_He still maintained the same calm expression, not even affected by the fact that he was going to get married to a man._

***

It was late at night when Atsumu got to a hotel room. The room consisted of only a bed, a table and a chair. The wall paint was peeling off and the bedsheets were a yellowish colour. The floor also looked like no one has swept it in years.

Atsumu looked at the dusty floor and lowered his head, his expression indescribable. He then went to check the bathroom.

The bathroom wasn’t in good condition as well; the wall paint was also crackled and had bits of green mold growing on it. It also had a smell that Atsumu can only describe as putrid. All with a single yellow light hanging on the ceiling.

To be fair, the hotel was located in a shadier part of the city, and Atsumu didn’t mind as he wasn’t staying for long anyway.

Despite the room was visibly unhygienic and old, it actually had a balcony. Not that it added anything to the room, but it was at least decorated with a metal chair and table. Though they had collected some rust over the years due to being sat out in the rain.

Atsumu opened the door to the balcony and leaned onto the rusted metal bars, his arms folded on it. He took out a cigarette and lighted it up with a lighter. He looked at the scenery, street lights were illuminating the roads and buildings. A few cars were still on the road, occasionally sounding their horns at other cars that moved recklessly on the road. Atsumu can hear a few drunkards in the back alley, singing a song in a language that he still couldn’t understand.

He let out a puff of smoke as he looked into the scarlet night, veiling the dark without stars to decorate it.

__“Người ta cứ nói đừng quá yêu… Người ta cứ nói đừng quá tin…”_ _

_Atsumu just woke up in the morning, stretching his body as he came out to the living room. The room was squeaky clean, not a spec of dust was seen. Breakfast was ready as well, it was a few roughly made onigiris. He then heard someone singing in the balcony of his own apartment. The voice was soft and mellifluous. He peeked from behind the wall._

_It was Kita, his newly wedded “wife”, drying the clothes on the rack._

_He was singing in what Atsumu assumed was Vietnamese._

_Kita noticed the blonde was peeking and called out._

_“Atsumu.”_

_The said man flinched in shock before coming out. Although they wrote their marriage forms together and slept in the same bed yesterday, they didn’t say a word to each other due to Atsumu being too nervous about the language barrier._

_“Is sumthin’ the matter?”_

_Atsumu’s eyes widened._

_“Ya speak Japanese?!” He asked in disbelief. “And Kansai-ben too?!”_

_“I learned a little before comin’.”_

_“Oh, that’s why…” Atsumu nodded. Although Kita’s Japanese had a thick foreign accent, he can mostly understand what he said._

_“More than that,” Kita turned to Atsumu after hanging a blue collared shirt,” how long has it been since ya last cleaned up yer apartment?”_

_“Erm…” Atsumu’s eyes darted left and right. Kita’s expression didn’t change, neither did he raised his voice, but somehow Atsumu felt tense from just that one sentence._

_“…’bout 2 weeks ago?”_

_Kita’s face remained stoic, but Atsumu gulped as he can feel something coming._

_“The floor was full of crumbs, yer laundry basket was filled to the brim, the kitchen counter was covered in stains and the trash looked like it wasn’t taken out in weeks.” Kita pointed out every unpresentable flaw in Atsumu’s apartment. Atsumu only gave a nervous laugh while listening to him._

_“S-sorry…” Atsumu rubbed the back of his head, still recovering from the mental beating that Kita gave him. Kita only let out a sigh._

_“Either way, I’ve cleaned it all, and ya probably won’t have to worry ’bout it anymore since I’m here,” Kita said as he turned back to the washing machine to get a wet shirt, “I am yer ‘wife’ after all…”_

_He then continued to dry the wet laundry. Atsumu looked at Kita for a while before going to the washing machine to get a pair of wet jeans.  
“Here, let me help a little.”_

_As Atsumu hung out the wet laundry, he thought to himself. He can probably accept this man as his partner for the rest of his life._

The memory made Atsumu shed some tears, but he immediately wiped them off using his sleeve, and continued to smoke his pain away.

***

It was a cloudy day when Atsumu walked on the streets, pulling his luggage along the way. He just got off a bus from the place he was before, he then went to have rice noodles for breakfast before starting on his searching journey again.

He tried to call the number from his phone, something that he had tried a few times before. But it all led to the same result:

No answer.

A raindrop dripped on Atsumu’s face. A drizzle had started. Atsumu opened up his umbrella that he bought a few days ago since he came here, as Saigon is a city that rains a lot.  
He continued to wander in the rain, only because of one reason. 

_“Shinsuke, can ya help me with dinner?” Atsumu peeked his head from the kitchen to the living room where Kita was sorting out the trash. He nodded and got up to the kitchen to wash his hands and started peeling the cucumbers._

_It has been a few weeks since their marriage registration, and Atsumu learned some things about Kita: He’s very obedient and well-mannered, he’s actually a year older than him, and he’s not bad at cooking. But Atsumu preferred Japanese food, so he would prepare the meals, also teaching Kita how to make it along the way._

_“Say, Shinsuke,” Atsumu started, “where did’ja live before ya came here?”_

_Kita looked at Atsumu, as if he had asked an obvious question._

_“I meant what part of Vietnam did’ja come from?”_

_Kita stopped cutting the cucumbers and looked to the floor before answering._

_“Saigon.”_

_His voice was quieter than before, his expression didn’t change. Atsumu looked at him. He didn’t know why, but he could feel a thousand emotions from that one word alone._

_He stopped whatever he was doing and put a hand on Kita’s shoulder._

_“I…think I want some Vietnamese food fer tonight,” He turned his head away, “maybe ya can teach me a thin’ or two about makin’ them?”_

_Kita looked at Atsumu, his face lightened up a little before turning his head again to look at the cucumbers that he was cutting._

_“Sure.”_

_In the corner of his eye, Atsumu swore he could see the edge of Kita’s lips lift up, forming the tiniest smile._

***

Atsumu walked down another street, continuing his journey. On the way he saw a building, which looked like the one he saw from travel pamphlets. He recognized it; it was the post office with a big clock in front of it. It’s one of the most known landmarks in Saigon.

There were several tourists there, all taking pictures with their families or significant others. As well as locals walking fast to get to the destination they need to go. 

Atsumu turned his head from the tourists, his expression looking grim as he walked away from the place.

_“Ame means…rain…”_

_Kita was on the living room sofa, revising his Japanese, which has gotten really good. But he insisted on revising since he didn’t want to forget the things he learned._

_Atsumu just came out from the shower when he heard Kita practicing his Japanese._

_“Ya okay there?” He asked Kita, still drying his hair with a towel. “Need any help?”_

_“Ah, yeah…” Kita looked up at Atsumu who was leaning over the sofa. “There’s this thing that I don’t understand.”_

_“Shoot it at me.”Atsumu said with a confident smile._

_“This is pronounced ‘ame’, but this is pronounced ‘ame’ as well.” He pointed at the picture that showed rain and the picture of a candy. “What’s the difference?”_

_“Oh, that. Hmm…” Atsumu thought about it for a while before explaining to Kita._

_“You see this?” He pointed at the picture of the rain. “This is pronounced a↓me, the pitch is lower.”_

_He then pointed at the picture of a candy. “And this is pronounced a↑me, the pitch goes up higher than the one before.”_

_Kita nodded his head before muttering something._

_“Điều đó thật khó hiểu…”_

_“What was that?”_

_“Oh, it was nothin’, I was just sayin’ that it’s confusin’…”_

_“Not as confusin’ as yer language!” Atsumu retaliated. “The writin’ is already difficult, not to mention actually talkin’ wit’ it!”_

_He then sat down beside Kita; his hair was still wet since the towel wasn’t enough to dry it off._

_“Seriously, it’s like takin’ Japanese, English, Chinese and put it on crack and ya got Vietnamese. How the hell do ya speak it every day?”_

_Kita looked at Atsumu as he grumbled about his mother tongue. He then put his hand on his face, covering his mouth._

_“Pfft-”_

_Kita started laughing hysterically, as if that was the funniest thing he has ever heard._

_Atsumu widened his eyes at this scene, his heart skipping a beat as this was the first time that he saw Kita expressing any emotion outwardly._

_“Maybe I can teach you a thing or two? About Vietnamese.” Kita said as he got up and took out a hair dryer from a drawer._

_Atsumu nodded a little awkwardly. “I-I think I would like that.”_

_Kita plugged in the hair dryer and turned it on. The whirring sound surrounded the room as Kita dried Atsumu’s hair._

_But Kita’s laughter continued to echo in Atsumu’s ears, like silver wind chimes when a breeze blows by._

Atsumu let out a sigh as he moved forward, walking down the street and started searching again. A strong gust of wind blew by. Atsumu can hear a crack, echoing in his ears. Whether it was a branch, or the sound of his own heart, he didn’t know.

All he could do was continue to wander; wander in this unknown city, finding any traces of unfamiliarity, or until he can just finally let it go.

But Atsumu can’t let it go, or rather he doesn’t want to.

Even if he looked like a lifeless corpse, his soulless body shaking as he stumbled on his footsteps. His broken heart drifting along the wind.

***

It was another rainy day when Atsumu searched down another street. There were some food stalls on the road but Atsumu didn’t interact with any of them, since most of the food are probably covered in dust and smoke of the cars passing by.

He also saw some stalls selling low-quality, fake jewelry. One of which caught his eye.

It was a pair of silver rings, with a black jewel and a white jewel studded on them respectively.

He stared at it for a moment, before the owner chased him away for not buying anything. 

He looked at his left ring finger, which was wearing a silver ring with a black diamond embedded on it, and let out a breath through his nose. His expression adamant as he has already crossed the point of no return. 

He then continued to walk in this street, his back figure slouching as he drowned in this flurried city, weaving his way through the nameless crowd. None of which noticed his feeling of loss, his agony while searching for the traces of the one he desired.

_Atsumu took Kita out to the streets of Kobe one day, they went to a shopping district and bought some nice clothes. Mostly Atsumu choosing clothes that he thought would look nice on Kita. Although Kita lectured Atsumu about spending too much money on clothes, they settled on buying a nice hoodie and jeans._

_After a few hours, they got onto a train and headed back to their town. They found themselves in a ramen place where Atsumu took Kita for their first actual date after their marriage registration, a place which Atsumu’s brother, Osamu recommended as he claimed it had the best ramen in town._

_A ramen place is weird for a first date destination, but if Atsumu knew where to bring people for dates, he wouldn’t have sought out a marriage agency._

_They sat down and gave their order to the chef. Kita can already order food by himself in perfect Japanese._

_After the food came, Kita put both his hands together and thanked for the food before eating._

_Atsumu however, only stared at the bowl of ramen, not even touching it._

_“Atsumu?” Kita stopped eating and tilted his head, confused as to why his husband wasn’t digging in immediately like he used to._

_The blonde-haired man didn’t say anything. Instead, he took out something from his pocket._

_It was a ring box, inside was a silver ring with a clear diamond embedded on it._

_“Happy Birthday, Shinsuke.”_

_Both of them looked at each other in the eyes. Kita didn’t expect Atsumu to remember his birthday at all._

_“We never had a weddin’ ceremony, so we never really had rings to exchange. So, I thought that it’d be nice to have sumthin’ that signifies our marriage.”_

_Kita didn’t say anything, he only stared at the ring in front of him._

_“Here, let me help ya put it on.”_

_He then grabbed Kita’s heavily calloused hand and slid it on his left ring finger. Kita looked at the ring that has been put on; his face unreadable to Atsumu’s eyes._

_“D-do ya like it?”_

_Kita lowered his head until Atsumu can’t see his face, still not uttering a single word._

_Atsumu was getting a little worried that Kita didn’t like the gift, until he heard sniffles coming from him._

_“Sh-Shinsuke?” He put his arm over Kita’s shoulder, attempting to comfort him._

_“I…really…like it…” Kita muttered under his breath, only loud enough for Atsumu to hear._

_“Thank you…Atsumu…”_

_Atsumu handed Kita some tissue to let him wipe his tears. They then started eating after Kita completely calmed down._

_The ramen was already a little cold by then, but to Atsumu, it was one of the best meals he ever had._

Atsumu put his hand in the pocket of his pants while clutching the left side of his chest with the other, and continued to walk down this path that he had chosen.

Perhaps he should’ve given up.

Perhaps he should’ve buried his feelings deep within him.

But he knew, that his heart is still at the place of the silver-haired man.

And it still belongs to him, as Atsumu’s love remains the same.

***

Atsumu stopped at another run-down hotel, taking a smoke outside the building as they don’t allow smoking in the premises. He reminisced old times when they were together, most were actually mundane everyday life.

But right now, all of them seemed like a beautiful dream.

A dream that will haunt him until the end of time.

But what did it all meant to him? Atsumu wondered.

Were all those times together, meant nothing but a puff of smoke to him?

Did he even care about Atsumu in the first place?

He looked to the night sky as he wished to turn into the dust that followed his silver hair in the wind.

After he finished his smoke, he went back to his room and sat down in front of the table. He started writing on a piece of paper, writing down all the words he wanted to say and folded it to put it in an envelope.

He’s determined to continue this long and lonely journey, no matter what challenges he would have to face.

_Atsumu could still remember that night clearly. It was raining heavily. Atsumu noticed that Kita was sitting at the living room by the door of the balcony, looking out into the rain. His expression was more aloof than usual._

_"Shinsuke?" Atsumu called out to grab Kita’s attention. “Ya fine?”_

_“Ah-yeah…” Kita got a bit startled, but nodded before looking at Atsumu. His eyes were a bit red and puffy. His voice was also hoarse. He drank some water that was in the mug on the coffee table._

_“Let’s go to bed, alright?”_

_“Mm…”_

_Kita followed Atsumu on the way to their room, but Atsumu suddenly stopped halfway. He turned around to Kita._

_“Shinsuke,” Atsumu fiddled his fingers, “can we…do it, tonight?”_

_Kita hesitated for a moment. He turned his head; his face blushed a bright red before nodding._

_“Sure.”_

_Atsumu smiled and carried Kita up bridal-style, which surprised Kita, making him yelp. The blonde laughed as he walked back to their room with Kita in his hands. Kita too let out a small giggle before the door closed._

_After that, Atsumu went to sleep soundly, thinking that the next morning would be like every day; with Kita by his side._

_But he was wrong._

_Atsumu woke up the next morning to birds chirping. He turned to his side, but Kita wasn’t there._

_Atsumu only assumed that Kita woke up early as the room was very clean._

_He went outside his room after brushing up, he noticed that the whole apartment seemed very clean._

_He looked around, no sign of Kita. Atsumu started getting worried since Kita don’t usually go out alone, especially this early in the morning._

_“Shinsuke!” Atsumu called out, but there was no response._

_“Shinsuke, where are ya?!”_

_He walked into the kitchen, but it was empty as well. Though something on the dining table caught Atsumu’s eye._

_It was the ring he gave Kita, sitting on the table with some papers. Alongside some well-made onigiris on a plate covered under a plastic wrap. There was also a note under the ring._

_Atsumu immediately grabbed the note to see what was written._

> _ごめんなさい。  
>  (Sorry.)_

_It was the only phrase written on it. The handwriting was clean and neat._

_He then checked the papers; they were divorce forms, with Kita’s signature already signed on top. The other half still waiting for Atsumu to write and sign on._

_Atsumu was stunned in place as his heart dropped. When he came back to reality he rushed to his room and checked all the closets and drawers, only Kita’s clothes were gone, but the clothes that Atsumu bought him still remained._

_It was then his knees gave out. His eyes widened in shock as he breathed heavily, letting reality sink in his head._

_He’s gone._

_All of their times together, their promises, all the happiness and joy._

_It was all an illusion, a happy bubble that Atsumu formed with Kita’s presence._

_And Kita’s departure made the bubble burst, leaving only Atsumu to fall into a distressing misery._

***

Atsumu got off the bus that he slept on and walked down the streets, once again searching for a familiar face amongst the sea of nameless mass.

It has been a month since Atsumu came here. He has searched most of the city, looking for the memories that he has lost.

_How can I find you when I’m lost in this unfamiliar city?_

_Why can’t I find you?_

He walked down the streets that he searched before, and saw a familiar building; it was the central post office again. He once again called the number that the marriage agency gave him.

But there still wasn’t an answer.

He sat down on the stairs at the gate, taking a break as he took out his water bottle to drink.

When Kita left, he didn’t take anything from Atsumu with him.

The only thing that he took away from Atsumu was his heart, and left without a trace.

Atsumu only found out he went back to Vietnam when he was looking through Kita’s search history from his computer, which consisted of searches for flight tickets to Saigon.

Despite his family’s constant dissuasion, Atsumu decided to embark on this journey. He had a lot of questions, and Kita was the only one that could answer them.

_Why did you leave me?_

_Did I do something wrong?_

_All this time, have you ever loved me?_

_You and I, can we give this a second chance?_

_Can we start from the beginning all over again?_

He didn’t care if the answers were cruel. He hoped that they will slap him, hard enough for him to wake up from this state of euphoria.

Rain started pouring from the grey sky, and Atsumu took out his umbrella before going back to the streets.

Since it was raining, the streets were less crowded than usual. The people all either scrambled to find shade or took out their umbrellas too. Atsumu continued his footsteps down the street, passing by the unfamiliar faces that he didn’t even bother to look as he lowered his head.

Somewhere around the unfamiliar crowd, Atsumu saw something.

A head of silver hair, with black tips, under a clear umbrella passed by.

A sense of familiarity.

He immediately turned around to see if his eyes weren’t deceiving him. 

His back, his slightly shorter stature.

_It’s him._

Atsumu started bolting towards the figure.

He threw away his umbrella and luggage, letting the heavy rain pour onto his body while he ran to chase his memories.

This was his chance.

And he can’t afford to lose it.

He reached out his hand to the silver-haired man’s shoulder as he caught up to him.

“Shinsuke!”

The person stopped in his footsteps and turned to Atsumu.

And the traces of familiarity disappeared.

Those dark brown eyes, were not his.

Atsumu froze as the other person gave him a confused look.

“S-sorry…” Atsumu let go of the man’s shoulder. The man shot a weirded look at him for a second before he walked away.

Atsumu went back to get his luggage, he didn’t even bother finding his umbrella that had been blown away in the wind.

He walked under the rain until he couldn’t feel his legs anymore. The sky was already dark when he sat down at the roadside. How he wished to become the mud that was staining his pants right now.

He once again recalled his old memories of being together with him.

The time when he successfully made Japanese ramen for Atsumu.

The time when Atsumu took him to a cinema since he said he had never been to one.

All the times that he smiled, which Atsumu compared them to an angel.

He lowered his head, his hair already wet. His clothes too, drenched from the rain. His face hit with a wave of despair. 

For the first time since he came here, he broke down.

The rain mixed together with his tears and flowed down his face. The raindrops showered his painful heart. The sound of the wind buried his sobs. He held his head with both of his hands as he muttered while choking on tears.

“Where are ya…?”

“I miss ya…so fuckin’ much…”

The heavy rain continued to fall from the sky, the strong wind continued to blow as the silver-haired figure disappeared along with it.

Leaving Atsumu with the feeling of despair that will continue to linger for the rest of his life.


End file.
